Tiny Titan

This was my speech at the memorial service

When I was stationed in Corpus Christi, someone asked my pastor why we never see miracles like they have in the Bible.  He quickly replied that miracles happen every moment of every day, but often the state of our heart blinds us to them.  Logan showed us that, every day.  His life was a testimony of God's grace, love, and joy.

Before I go any further, I want to clarify that God did not take my child from me.  The Bible clearly states that God does not wish for children to die.  Death is not of God, but even death could not hide Logan from God's grace.  He passed away quickly, peacefully, and without pain.  That is a gift.  He died knowing he was loved.  He never knew a day of suffering.  He had a perfect birth, life, and death.  That is grace.  My baby will never know a day of suffering.  From the day he was born there was something different about him.  My heart ached, almost knowing he would be temporary, but we are all on borrowed time.

Logan loved to laugh.  He was always trying to make someone smile.  He was an easy baby who adored his puppies kisses, chasing Cammy, and reveling in Owen's adoration.  He loved spending the mornings with Lucky and helping me unfold clothes or undo any knitting or crocheting that I had apparently not wanted done.  He was the master of finding what the vacuum lost.  He hated the nose sucker (bulb syringe), unless Sean was using it.  He thought Ian made the best fart noises.  He loved and took comfort in Bart pacing with him.  He also loved to remind his Aunt Megan that "3-ora" was more comfortable in the chest area.  He also loved to stick his tongue out at you as he wiggled his bum.  His Daddy and Owen were his heroes and Mommy and Cammy were his princesses.  At the end of the day, he let me know that I was a great Mom.  That is something I never believed until him.

Now we are left wondering about the present.  How deep is it?  How wide?  How much of it is ours to keep?  After David became king, his baby became ill.  David mourned and fasted.  He spent his days crying out to God.  One day, while he was in his room, the baby passed away.  His servants were terrified to tell him, but when David found out, he got up, dressed, and asked for breakfast.  His servants were confused, telling him he mourned at the wrong time.  David replied "Someday, I will go to him.  He will not come to me."

Logan is in God's house, waiting for us.  He is surrounded by family.  A sibling, aunts, uncles, cousins, and so many more.  The Bible speaks of how we are known in heaven as we were on Earth.  He is still my son, and because he was my gift, those that are connected to us are connected to him.  I will see my son again.  I will cherish the time that I have here now, but I look forward to when I will be home with him.  I will try to live my life with the joy that he taught us.  I will strive to be the woman of Proverbs 31, "She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.", for my son and my God.

(There may have been more, but this is what was in my notes from that day)