I want to be sexy. I want to be curvy and all that is woman. I want Lucky's friends and co-workers to think he did a good job. I want to be beautiful.
I did not wear my first spaghetti strap without anything over it until I joined the navy. Too much skin, and having larger breasts like I did back then, made it hard to wear cute clothes without being obscene. I still am uncomfortable in a bikini. Not from the baby body... but anyone can see the crease where my butt meets my thigh. That is so private! I have a friend who wears leggings with cute little shirts. She is adorable. I would die. I don't think leggings are inappropriate... I am just not comfortable with my butt showing. My neighbor had me wear an incredibly low cut (for my standards) hugging dress for my husbands Christmas party. Lucky loved it. I wore my trench coat most of the party or was trying to adjust the dress the whole time.
Now that I am a mother I need to represent the woman my son should marry and the woman my daughter should strive to be. I think in some aspects it is easy. I am scared of mini skirts and plunging neck lines. My dresses fit well but don't show off too much. It is a lot easier now that I don't have as much to show.
So how does being "sexy" fit into my version of personal modesty? I feel sexy in dark denim shorts and a white tee shirt. I love the way I feel in some of my long sleeve shirts and a good pair of jeans. Honestly, I am uncomfortable in the dresses I made. When the wind blows, I have to pull a Marilyn Monroe if I am not wearing a petty coat (Note 1. Petty Coats were made for more than filling out a skirt. Note 2. I need cuter underwear.). More than all that I feel sexy when I catch my husband checking me out.
I have never been an overly girly girl. I have very muted colors in my wardrobe and not much frill. I have embraced my style. It fits my standards and I feel good in it. When I feel good, I look good. Even if my nails are chipped and I just can get the "messy pony tail" to look right (how do you mess up a messy pony tail?), I feel good, over all.
I define my sexiness by who I am. My eyes are my favorite feature. Apparently, I have a nice voice for a woman even if it is lower. I laugh and smile a lot. Those little lines around my eyes and mouths will grow to be my crowing beauties. I am happy. I look good with clothes on. My style fits ME. I have a good sense of humor. I am well read and even through my failed High School years, I scored high enough on my ACT to get into a couple Ivy League Universities- meaning I didn't have to take an entrance exam for the school I am going to (Thank you, GOD!!! I was worried about it). I am nerdy. I am unique. I am sexy because I am who I am.